Clarissa Jacobson
Oct 9, 20181 min
Updated: Jan 29, 2019
Winner of Two Awards At Women In Horror
Audience Award for Lunch Ladies
Best Performance for Donna Pieroni
JUST IN!
In an astounding, surprise move, the Lunch Ladies have prominently displayed their recent awards from Women In Horror, Austin Revolution, Fargo Fantastic and NOLA Horror on the same shelf as their cherished Johnny Depp VHS Tapes.
Apparently, the women manipulated five wins out of the beleaguered film festivals, bringing their illegal stash of trophies and certificates from around the world to a grand total of twenty-nine (with an ill-gotten additional twenty-three nominations).
Said Seretta, carefully arranging the spoils next to their vintage 21 Jump Street Collection: "We've stashed our prizes everywhere, even in Shamu (our giant white freezer) next to the fresh meat. Faced with nowhere else to go, The Depper VHS Shelf was our last resort. Tell 'em Lou."
LouAnne, delicately dusting The Depper VHS shelf with a dead bird wing as a creepy Depper bobblehead looks on: "The Depper VHS shelf is for one thing only, Depper VHS tapes. But, then we decided The Depper would be fine with it because these awards... god**mn they're beautiful."
BOTH: "Thanks everyone for the wins!"
Best Female Filmmaker for Clarissa Jacobson awarded by Women In Film & TV of Louisiana
Austin Revolution Film Festival
Best Female Drive Film for Clarissa Jacobson & Shayna Weber awarded by Women In Horror
Fargo Fantastic Film Festival - Best Comedy