In a shocking display of bad sportsmanship, the Lunch Ladies - who were qualified for the 2019 Oscars but did not get a nom - have gone on record to say "Scr*w You, Oscars" after Nevermore Horror awarded them Best Horror Short of 2018 and Jay Kay of Horror Happens Radio shouted them out as one of the Top 30 Horror Shorts Of The Year. READ NEVERMORE HORROR HERE SEE THE LIST FROM JAY KAY HERE Apparently, the Lunch Ladies acted like they gave zero f*cks when they didn't get a no
The dark web has confirmed that the Lunch Ladies have been harassing folks like yourself everywhere to vote for them in Gruesome Magazine's 2018 Horror Awards. VOTE HERE Gruesome Magazine, shocking upright moral and decent folks everywhere, announced that Lunch Ladies was nominated for 2018 Best Horror Short of the year. With mountains of - VOTE HERE - terrific horror shorts across the world, no one can fathom how the Lunch Ladies ended up on this focused shorts list of only
Winner of Two Awards At Women In Horror Audience Award for Lunch Ladies
Best Performance for Donna Pieroni JUST IN! In an astounding, surprise move, the Lunch Ladies have prominently displayed their recent awards from Women In Horror, Austin Revolution, Fargo Fantastic and NOLA Horror on the same shelf as their cherished Johnny Depp VHS Tapes. Apparently, the women manipulated five wins out of the beleaguered film festivals, bringing their illegal stash of trophies and certi
The dark web has confirmed that the Lunch Ladies have used the luck of the Irish against the Irish to finagle a screening from the Kerry Film Festival. Apparently, the women have been trying to get to the land of the Blarney Stone, leprechauns and Guinness since they were wee tots but the Irish have managed to keep them at bay. Until now. Said Seretta, practicing her jig in an unbecoming green felt mini-skirt: "We had to get in the Kerry Fest and we knew it would take more t
Just in! The Lunch Ladies have demanded a $2.50 weekly raise from Melvin High after winning at FilmQuest* and Dragon Con* and scoring four nominations* from NOLA Horror. Said Seretta, rolling pennies to make ends meet: "Make no mistake, The Depper IS hiring us to be his personal chefs, but until then, we're still in the poorhouse, I mean the public school system. We haven't had a raise in fifteen years but now is our chance." LouAnne, filthy from collecting aluminum cans al
The dark web has confirmed that the Lunch Ladies have slipped Wormwood Tea to the reporters at Nevermore Horror and Just Celebrity Magazine to garner "Flipping Awesome Reviews": Nevermore Horror: "I cannot, in words, express how fun, flamboyant, vibrant and out-right insane the film is." Just Celebrity Mag: "It’s a movie that will keep you giggling for the entire 19 minutes it lasts and a long time after that." Apparently, the ladies came up with the idea to use the potent
The dark web has confirmed that the Lunch Ladies have had a 186 hour slumber party watching Encore! France 24's documentary about the Women's Revolution in Hollywood. Even more astounding, reliable witnesses have verified that Seretta asked LouAnne (who is in charge of the remote) "Skip Oprah, Rewind to the part they talk about us again" - a total of 1,797 times. See the doc in English HERE! See the doc in French HERE! Apparently, the International French News Channel inter
The dark web has confirmed that the Lunch Ladies were denied the red carpet at Artemis "Women In Action" Film Fest even after paying to walk it but say "We're honored." Apparently this incredibly unique fest charges filmmakers a "special rate" to walk their fundraiser red carpet "Awards Gala Event" and the Lunch Ladies (who are attention whores for any type of promo) jumped at the chance to cough up their hard earned Lunch Lady dough. The plot thickens. Armed with their golde
The dark web has confirmed that the Lunch Ladies will be screening at Indiana's Skyline Drive-In Theatre and will come in pajamas, OD on concessions and pass out in their Buick LeSabre. Said a verklempt Seretta, dabbing at her eyes with a blood-stained handkerchief: "It's just... I'm sorry, I'm just a little choked up. It's just that seeing ourselves on the big screen while being comfortable in pajamas, stuffing our pie hole then passing out has been a lifelong dream of our
The dark web has confirmed that the Lunch Ladies are miffed after finding out that they were not invited to attend an interview by international news channel France 24. Apparently the lame brain, we mean main brain, behind the Lunch Ladies, writer/producer Clarissa Jacobson, met France 24 producer Renaud Lefort at the Clermont-Ferrand Film Fest in February where the film played in the Dinner Is Served Retrospective. Feeling sorry for her because she's the lame/main brain beh
When writer/producer Clarissa Jacobson dared to delve into the reason so many natural disasters are happening in tandem with film fests she's attending, she discovered something shocking:
The Lunch Ladies are behind them.
Earthquakes, mudslides, terrible weather... at Clermont-Ferrand Film Fest in France there was blinding snow, causing the airport to experience massive delays and Jacobson to have a staggering 36 hour traveling experience after missing connections. The
Dark web sources have confirmed that the Lunch Ladies have used extensive flattery to get themselves an awesome interview/review from self-proclaimed "nerd" bloggers Jean Book Nerd: "Lunch Ladies definitely has a unique spark, one that could benefit from the feature length treatment (with spirit intact) in all of its goo spattered greatness."
Read the full story HERE and see the Interview BELOW!
Jean Vallesteros, creator/editor of the blog along with her team - James Valle
Extra Features Podcast is reeling after they told the Lunch Ladies they didn't want anything to do with them then were sent a suspicious pot pie with a sabered note in the crust that said: "Eat this, or interview the Lunch Ladies. Your choice." Listen to the coerced podcast HERE! Simon Watson, co-creator of the show and the poor sod who received the "special delivery" agreed to the interview saying "We were trying desperately to avoid featuring the Lunch Ladies, but we had
Jay Kay of Horror Happens Radio has admitted that he interviewed Clarissa Jacobson, the writer/producer of Lunch Ladies, and has no excuse other than "Sh*t Happens." Hear the Interview HERE! Kay was hoping to bypass talking to anyone associated with the Lunch Ladies but was caught off guard when Clarissa burst into tears, begging him for some promotion. (Apparently, there's a reason the Lunch Ladies are so annoying - because they're a chip off the old block.) Said Clarissa,
The Lunch Ladies have developed huge egos after winning "Best North American Short" at Nevermore Film Fest. Apparently, the women are causing a huge embarrassment to the entire cast and crew of the film by demanding to cut in line at Walmart, demanding the best table at Arby's, and bragging nonstop: "We Are Flipping Awesome." Writer/Producer Clarissa Jacobson and Director JM Logan have been apologizing to everyone they see for the Lunch Ladies' obnoxious behavior. Logan: "G
In a stunning turn of events, The Lunch Ladies have forced the hand of Scottish website - Popcorn Horror - to give them a great review by threatening to show them what's under their kilts. Faster than you can play "Highland Laddie" on the bagpipes, the site instructed their journalist, good old Andrea, to "just write something and make it believable." "Lunch Ladies has a brilliant score, with nods to the jangly discomfort of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, set to well shot sequence
Writer/Producer Clarissa Jacobson smiles on the red carpet 24 hours before failing massively to see the Lunch Ladies international premiere at Latin America's top horror event - the Mórbido Fest. In her own words: "The first screening mishap occurred because there was a Day of the Dead Parade and all the roads were blocked. The cabbie said he'd drop me off as close to the theatre as he could get me - i.e. on the side of the massive congested freeway where he pointed THAT WAY
Ubiquitous Horror - Journalist Siobahn Harris' website of insightful horror movie reviews and thoughts on all things that bring the fear - came back around like a second helping of pot pie for another story about Lunch Ladies - this time she interviewed the Director, JM Logan and myself, writer/producer for our thoughts on the making of the film. Yeah, we too can't believe we pulled this shit off. She writes: "From the obsession with Johnny Depp to the dance scene in the caf
Being a lunch lady ain't easy. As a lunch lady you have to deal with everything from bratty high schoolers, to overpaid, power tripping principals. Thankfully, THESE lunch ladies have a ticket out... hopefully. You see, the problem is Melvin High's dictator principal (Chris Fickley) is threatening to kick these lunch ladies to the curb if they don't come up with something good for Surprise Friday AND they've got a freshly dead teenager (Daisy Kershaw) on their hands! What