top of page
  • Writer's pictureClarissa Jacobson

Lunch Ladies Denied Red Carpet At Artemis Film Fest Even After Paying To Walk It "We're Honored"

Artemis Women In Action Film Fest

The dark web has confirmed that the Lunch Ladies were denied the red carpet at Artemis "Women In Action" Film Fest even after paying to walk it but say "We're honored."

Apparently this incredibly unique fest charges filmmakers a "special rate" to walk their fundraiser red carpet "Awards Gala Event" and the Lunch Ladies (who are attention whores for any type of promo) jumped at the chance to cough up their hard earned Lunch Lady dough.

The plot thickens.

Armed with their golden tickets, they and dozens of clueless others arrived promptly at 6pm like the invitation said, but in true Hollywood awesomeness they were forced to wait on the sidewalk for another 45 minutes in their stilettos with cold air blowing up their dresses before they would be let into the theatre:

Said Seretta, soaking her swollen feet in a vat of lard, but still happy as a clam: "It was really exciting! All those cars driving past, seeing the huge crowd outside the theatre with the marquis screaming - Artemis Women In Action Awards Gala Event - everyone wished they were us!"

LouAnne, holding a frozen bag of decapitated... peas against her sore back, agreed: "It was even more awesome when it was finally our turn to walk the red carpet and we were turned away because we hadn't won an award. We feel so honored to be part of a fest that's so exclusive!"

Both: "Thanks Artemis for keeping riff raff, non-winner, non-celebs like us off the red carpet!"

See below a photo of writer/producer Clarissa Jacobson and director/producer JM Logan bombing the red carpet and harassing someone into taking a shot with a cell phone. They both wore their sunglasses hoping no one would notice. Further, Clarissa copied the Lunch Ladies with a Lunch Ladies dress. The Lunch Ladies are not pleased and have sent her a cease and desist order.



bottom of page