THE LUNCH LADIES CANNOT BE STOPPED! Film Fests: Anatomy Crime & Horror, Freak Show, Buried Alive, Bull City, IKUSKA, Flickers' Vortex, and Festival À Nous De Voir are reeling with the news that there is no escape from the Lunch Ladies. The Oracle has spoken. Apparently, the concerned festival programmers - who have successfully avoided the wretched duo for over a year - reached out to the top Oracle in Greece (High Priestess Lovett McTodd) to ask if they would meet the same h
Winner of Two Awards At Women In Horror Audience Award for Lunch Ladies
Best Performance for Donna Pieroni JUST IN! In an astounding, surprise move, the Lunch Ladies have prominently displayed their recent awards from Women In Horror, Austin Revolution, Fargo Fantastic and NOLA Horror on the same shelf as their cherished Johnny Depp VHS Tapes. Apparently, the women manipulated five wins out of the beleaguered film festivals, bringing their illegal stash of trophies and certi
Just in! The Lunch Ladies have demanded a $2.50 weekly raise from Melvin High after winning at FilmQuest* and Dragon Con* and scoring four nominations* from NOLA Horror. Said Seretta, rolling pennies to make ends meet: "Make no mistake, The Depper IS hiring us to be his personal chefs, but until then, we're still in the poorhouse, I mean the public school system. We haven't had a raise in fifteen years but now is our chance." LouAnne, filthy from collecting aluminum cans al
The dark web has confirmed that the Lunch Ladies are heading to Atlanta's Women In Horror Film Fest (WHIFF) after spouting dry feminist theory 24/7 to exhausted programmers. The festival, which celebrates women in the horror genre, wanted nothing to do with the duo but caved to their demands after being worn down by hours of dull, dry, analytical feminist theory: Said, Seretta, burning her DDD Bra in a roaring bonfire to prove she's a feminist: "We knew we couldn't use our u
The Lunch Ladies are happy as clams after conning both Dragon Con Independent Film Fest in Atlanta and Festival de Cortometrajes MABO in Puerto Rico into official selections. Apparently, the Lunch Ladies who have now manipulated, cheated and lied their way through over 50 film fests (and counting) have decided that doing it one at time is no challenge and are now conning festivals two at a time. Said Seretta, gasping for air, peddling a rusty elliptical machine that sits in t
In a shocking exposé released today on the dark web, it was revealed that The Lunch Ladies may have bribed the Atlanta Horror Film Festival Judges with homemade peach pie. Atlanta, located in Georgia, (for those of you who have a learning gap because you attended Melvin High) is often referred to as The Peach State. Apparently, The Lunch Ladies excel at pie making and supposedly whipped up the tasty item above then shipped it to the Judges with a hand scribbled note: "Enjoy!