Clarissa Jacobson
- Dec 27, 2017
- 2 min read

Lunch Ladies Learn To Saber A Champagne Bottle On YouTube In Prep For New Years - Put Out Cat's Eye

Sources have confirmed that the Lunch Ladies have put out a cat's eye.

It appears that Seretta and LouAnne spend hours on YouTube learning new things to give them an extra edge.* Most recently and tragically they half-blinded their favorite cat "Scissorhands" after learning how to saber a champagne bottle in preparation for New Years.

Seretta, face red from crying, said:

"The annual "Hollywood Bullshit Matters New Year's Eve Party" is just around the corner and we had plans to crash it. We wanted to show up and be hip. So, you can imagine how excited we were when we discovered the Tamara Twist video on how to saber a bottle of champagne. Also, we have tons of sabers lying around the house going to no use."

LouAnne, tears in her eyes, said:

"Unfortunately Tamara effed up and didn't mention in the video to make sure no cats were around... anyhow it really sucked because "Scissorhands" had to be renamed "Cyclops."

*Some of the Lunch Ladies thumbs up videos include how to talk prison talk, how to stop that f*%ckin smoke alarm from chirping and top five diseases.

Tamara Berg is a multi-faceted woman who makes beautiful jewelry, is the host of Tamara Twist on YouTube as well as a host on AfterbuzzTV. If that's not enough, she also has a podcast with Illeana Douglas called "I Blame Dennis Hopper." Annoying to the Lunch Ladies, she's pretty much a perfect woman so they cast her as an uptight gym teacher in the film - just to get even. She was perfect. Ms. Berg is seen here on set with her husband John Comerford who played our obnoxious Lunch Monitor and Joe Bratcher who was our equally obnoxious Head Choreographer and Producer.