The dark web has confirmed that the Lunch Ladies are verklempt after a hot male named Maverick joined their Hairnet Club. Apparently, the women have admitted that "Other than the Depper, we've never been popular with the opposite sex; until now."
Last month, the Lunch Ladies started the Hairnet Club in an effort to legitimize the bastard child of fashion. Several hot males joined off the bat, but the ladies thought it was only for the hairnets.
Said Seretta, blowing her nose into a silk screened Pirates of the Caribbean handkerchief: "When those first dudes joined our club, we never imagined it was because of us. Then Maverick sent in his membership card and we knew it was our own insecurities that made us feel that way, that yes, men not only love hairnets... but they love us. I'm so tore up."
LouAnne, dumping a homemade Clorox solution in lieu of Visine into her red puffy eyes added: "Arghhh! Sorry. That stung. Anyhow, it's just... you go your whole life never having the opposite sex look at you. Then Johnny Depp comes along. Then you kill a cheerleader. Then you start a Hairnet Club. Then Maverick joins it. Life is amazing!"
Maverick is owned by Melissa Dina McCarty, a horror queen and huge supporter of independent film. The Lunch Ladies met Melissa at Nightmares Film Fest (currently open for submissions - enter if you're a filmmaker - it's awesome!) in October of last year. Maverick is a rescue dog who enjoys watching Buckeyes football and taking the squeakers out of toys, preferably ones shaped like ducks. He loves bananas, Granny Smith apples and of course, hairnets.
If you would like to be part of the Lunch Ladies Hairnet Club, like Maverick, contact us HERE!
