top of page
  • Writer's pictureClarissa Jacobson

Fan Feels Like He Was Dumped By The Lunch Ladies Who Win At Animal Film Fest And Are Now Stuck Up

In an astonishing turn of events, the Lunch Ladies, former underdogs, and despised by young and old alike, have let their recent success go to their heads.

Van, a fan they flirted with while their writer/producer Clarissa was blabbing about her new book at the Tulsa American Film Fest, explains:

"I loved Lunch Ladies so much, it left me wanting more and asking why, why, why isn't it a full film? It ended so fast it left me feeling like I was just dumped out of a relationship I wanted to last... Why did it end? Was it something I said?"

No Van, it is not something you said. The Lunch Ladies are stuck up b*tches.

Apparently, after the Lunch Ladies' recent wins at Animal Film Fest in Morelia, Mexico* where they coerced two awards out of confused judges: Best International Short and Best Editing for Amelia Allwarden, the Lunch Ladies have turned into full-on snobs.

Said Seretta, applying her fake eyelashes with Gorilla Glue: "We are amazing. Beyond amazing. Incredibly amazing. God, we are so amazing."

Said LouAnne, working her biceps by lifting two bloody, rusty, circular saws: "Sorry Van to leave you hanging in our relationship, but there's always Tinder."

Meanwhile, folks across the world have been asking: "If the Lunch Ladies are that d*mn amazing why the h*ll are they still working at Melvin High for chicken scratch and not as Johnny Depp's personal chefs?"

*The Lunch Ladies have tormented Mexico by screening there seven times in the past two years: Mórbido Fest, Feratum Fest, 24 Risas Por Segundo, KINÉ, Muestra Internacional de Cortometraje Puebla, Post Mortem (where they won Honorable Mention Red - 2nd Place), Stuff MX, and of course, Animal Film Fest.

Animal Film Fest

Animal Film Fest

Follow Animal Film Fest at:


Facebook: @ANIMAL FilmFest

Instagram: @animalfilmfest

Twitter: @AnimalFestFilm

In other announcements, the Lunch Ladies will be back in New Orleans with NOLA Horror Fest, and organizer, Bill Spataro, for the Crescent City Spook Show! Details HERE!

Crescent City Spook Show


bottom of page