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  • Writer's pictureMathilda Todd McSweeney

“Selfless” Lunch Ladies to Screen at Joedance's "Rock The Cemetery" - Donate "Beyond Meat" Pot Pies

News sources across the dark web are reporting that the Lunch Ladies have turned over a new leaf after announcing they were “selflessly” screening at Joedance Film Festival's Rock The Cemetery event in Charlotte to help raise money for pediatric cancer research.

Something smells rotten in the state of North Carolina.

After some astounding investigative journalism, it was discovered that Joedance had no designs whatsoever to screen the nefarious Lunch Ladies and were tricked. Said defeated Festival Director, Chip White: “Their malodorous reputation is well earned.”

How did this abomination happen?

Simple. When the Lunch Ladies were told that Joedance was never going to program them in a million years, they took swift action.

Seretta, supergluing Rhinestone cleavers on her talons, proudly boasted: “We convinced Joedance our pot pies are made with Beyond Meat ONLY and would be a huge hit at the charity event. Ha! They bought it hook line and sinker!”

LouAnne, styling her ducktail with some old, clumpy, Pennzoil from their Buick (never throw something useful away), was an ounce more contrite: “So we told a white lie, whoop-de-doo. Someone's gotta eat our pot pies might as well be them. Plus, we DONATED them, so that makes up for it."

Both: "Thanks Joe Dance! "Beyond Meat" Pot Pies for all!”

Lunch Ladies will open the festival on Saturday, April 23 at the historic Elmwood Pinewood Cemetery and screens with three other films - Good Boy Cerberus, Rainy Season, and The Wages of Sin. Live music will be performed by Southbound. Doors are at 6PM with the show to start at 6:30pm. Tickets can be purchased HERE.

The Joedance Film Festival honors the memory of Joe Restaino to raise funds for rare pediatric cancer research and clinical trials at Levine Children’s in Charlotte, North Carolina. Joedance is committed to supporting filmmakers, producers, writers, and directors by featuring short films produced in the United States and US Territories at the festival. Rock the Cemetery is a new charity event the festival puts on that screens four films and live music.

Follow Joedance Film Fest at:


Facebook: @joedanceFilmFestival

Instagram: @joedancefilm

Twitter: @joedancefilm


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