#Canada

Lunch Ladies Head To Quebec City Film Fest To Pedal Fresh Tourtière And Bastardize French Language

Clarissa Jacobson

Aug 22, 2018
1 min

Lunch Ladies Head To Quebec City Film Fest To Pedal Fresh Tourtière And Bastardize French Language

Just in! The dark web has confirmed that the Lunch Ladies are a selection of the Quebec City Film Festival where they will pedal fresh Tourtière and bastardize the French language. Tourtière is a traditional meat pie dish originating from Quebec. Apparently, the filling is culled from what is regionally available making it a perfect vehicle for the Lunch Ladies: Said, Seretta, chopping up some fresh meat that is regionally available from Melvin High's blood-spattered walk-i

Lunch Ladies Interviewed By MUFF Society - Discuss The Depper But Avoid Topic Of Murder

Clarissa Jacobson

Apr 23, 2018
2 min

Lunch Ladies Interviewed By MUFF Society - Discuss The Depper But Avoid Topic Of Murder

Reports from the dark web have confirmed that the Lunch Ladies have been interviewed by the Monthly Underground Female Film Society aka MUFF Society and have ran their mouths on everything from feminism to The Depper but have avoided the topic of murder. Read the full story HERE! Said Seretta, sporting a jacked pink glittery MUFF tee that she tried to sell to founder Siân Melton for a 1000% markup: "We were thrilled that MUFF wanted to interview us but we were nervous. Sure,

Breaking News! Lunch Ladies Win At Hexploitation Fest: "Just Give Them The Award & End This Curse"

Clarissa Jacobson

Mar 26, 2018
1 min

Breaking News! Lunch Ladies Win At Hexploitation Fest: "Just Give Them The Award & End This Curse"

Breaking News! The Lunch Ladies have pulled off their third and final hex at Hexploitation Film Fest to take home Best Comedic Short. Apparently, the women won after programmers decided to "just give them the award and end this curse." It started back in February, where the Lunch Ladies who had not been to Canada, set their sites on getting their passport stamped. Knowing they had a snowball's chance in hell of being let into the country without witchcraft, they first hexe

Lunch Ladies Head To Canada For Calgary Underground Film Fest - Drive Programmers Nuts Saying "Eh?"

Clarissa Jacobson

Mar 21, 2018
1 min

Lunch Ladies Head To Canada For Calgary Underground Film Fest - Drive Programmers Nuts Saying "Eh?"

The Lunch Ladies are celebrating an easy victory after receiving the news that they're an official selection of the 15th Annual Calgary Underground Film Festival. Apparently, Calgary like all other fests were doing their best to avoid anything to do with the Lunch Ladies, but gave into their demands when the Ladies drove them nuts with saying "Eh?" and "Hoser." Said, Seretta, cracking open a frosty can of Elsinore Beer: "We're huge fans of those Canadian hosers, Bob and Dou

Lunch Ladies Nominated For Two Awards At Hexploitation Film Fest - Under Investigation By Mounties

Clarissa Jacobson

Mar 14, 2018
1 min

Lunch Ladies Nominated For Two Awards At Hexploitation Film Fest - Under Investigation By Mounties

The Lunch Ladies, who are rumored to dabble in witchcraft, are under investigation by the Canadian Mounted Police after pulling off a SECOND hex on Hexploitation Film Fest (aka the PLAINTIFF). Back in February, Plaintiff reported they were "hexed" into choosing the ladies as an official selection of the film fest and filed charges. However, the case stalled after definitive proof failed to surface. This time, Plaintiff alleges they were hexed into nominating the Ladies (aka

Lunch Ladies Behind Natural Disasters -Writer/Producer Jacobson Warns Film Fests To Be Wary

Clarissa Jacobson

Mar 13, 2018
1 min

Lunch Ladies Behind Natural Disasters -Writer/Producer Jacobson Warns Film Fests To Be Wary

When writer/producer Clarissa Jacobson dared to delve into the reason so many natural disasters are happening in tandem with film fests she's attending, she discovered something shocking: The Lunch Ladies are behind them. Earthquakes, mudslides, terrible weather... at Clermont-Ferrand Film Fest in France there was blinding snow, causing the airport to experience massive delays and Jacobson to have a staggering 36 hour traveling experience after missing connections. The

Lazy Lunch Ladies Pull A Tom Sawyer -Trick Canadian Sales Rep Ouat Media Into Doing Their Dirty Work

Clarissa Jacobson

Mar 7, 2018
1 min

Lazy Lunch Ladies Pull A Tom Sawyer -Trick Canadian Sales Rep Ouat Media Into Doing Their Dirty Work

Reports from the dark web have confirmed that the Lunch Ladies have been partying all night after tricking the Canadian Sales Rep - Ouat Media - into doing their dirty work. Apparently, the egotistical Lunch Ladies want to be distributed all over the world but are too lazy to do any of the slogging that is required to achieve their dreams of domination. Said Seretta, who met Ouat Media at the Clermont-Ferrand Fest where the film screened in the Dinner Is Served Retrospective

Lunch Ladies Dabble In Witchcraft - Succeed In Becoming An Official Selection Of Hexploitation Film

Clarissa Jacobson

Feb 21, 2018
1 min

Lunch Ladies Dabble In Witchcraft - Succeed In Becoming An Official Selection Of Hexploitation Film

The Lunch Ladies are under investigation by Canadian authorities after the Hexploitation Film Fest in Ontario reported they were "hexed" into choosing the ladies as an official selection. According to in-depth research done by the dark web, the Ladies are collecting passport stamps and have not been to Canada yet - making it a "must go" destination. Apparently, they first tried to get into the country by disguising themselves as Canadian Mounted Police but were stopped at the

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