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  • Writer's pictureClarissa Jacobson

"Selfless" Lunch Ladies Head To Utah's FilmQuest Fest To Bring Back Salt For Cash-Strapped School

FilmQuest Fest

Could the Lunch Ladies be turning over a new leaf?

The two women are being called "selfless" by reporters across the world after their recent selection by FilmQuest Fest in Utah. Apparently, the festival wanted nothing to do with the troublemakers but were so moved by their astounding cover letter, they changed their mind:

Dear FilmQuest Programmers:

We Lunch Ladies know our bad reputation precedes us, but please, we beg you to read on. You have the ability to change lives.

Being Lunch Ladies at Melvin High is an incredibly difficult job because there is no money in the budget for salt and fresh meat. We think we have come up with a creative solution to the fresh meat part, but we are at a loss what to do about the salt shortage.

Upon hearing that FilmQuest is only a pot pie's throw from The Great Salt Lake we ask that you choose us to attend so we may visit the lake's mighty shores, collect its bounty and bring it back to cash-strapped Melvin High. Don't do it for us. Do it for the children.

It is in your capable hands.


Seretta and LouAnne Burr

PS. We know FilmQuest is one of the best genre fests, and you have lots of parties and that sweet a*s Cthulhu trophy, but that has nothing to do with helping our beloved Melvin High.

The fifth annual FilmQuest is a hotbed of the very best in genre filmmaking in the world and runs from September 7-15 in Provo, Utah.

Details on when the conniving Lunch Ladies screen can be found here!

FilmQuest Fest

Follow FilmQuest Fest at:


Facebook: @FilmQuestFest

Instagram: @filmquest

Twitter: @filmquestfest



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