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  • Writer's pictureMathilda Todd McSweeney

Lunch Ladies Guilt Toronto into a Screening at The Great Canadian Horror Fest – “Clusterf*ck”

The dark web has confirmed that the Lunch Ladies have guilted Toronto into a screening at The Great Canadian Horror Fest. Programmers are reeling from the manipulation calling the whole situation a “clusterf*ck.”

John Todd McSweeney, a spokesperson for the festival said “Eh, we really wanted to turn those Ladies away, but Canadians are known as uber polite so we couldn’t say ‘no.’ Now everyone in T-Dot is really mad. It’s a total clusterf*ck, eh?”

In 2022 the despicable duo made a blood pact to never scheme a festival again. After all, they’d already screened their sick brand of humor in over 120 fests and didn’t want to crash new ones like a creepy old dude hitting on hot freshmen at the prom. But when they discovered The Great Canadian Horror Fest took place in Toronto, their reservations flew out the window.

Said Seretta, sharpening the blades of some rusty Canadian hockey skates which she swears won’t be used as a weapon, “We’ve been to the Great White North three times* but we’ve never been to Toronto and that’s just nuts. So, when we heard about the fest, we decided to use their pathetic politeness to our advantage. Suckers!”

LouAnne, whipping up some poutine and drenching it in maple syrup she scammed off a clueless Canadian that made the mistake of moving to the USA, concurred, “Exactly! Too bad if The Big Smoke is mad. It’s so cold there they need a good clusterf*ck now and then.”

Both: Thanks, Great Canada Horror Fest, you’re soooo nice for programming us!

The Lunch Ladies screen on Friday, October 28 at The Royal Cinema. Details HERE!

*The Lunch Ladies previously played in Canada at Quebec City, Calgary Underground, and Hexploitation Film Fest where they won Best Comedic Short.

The Great Canadian Horror Film Festival is an international film festival based in Toronto Canada which is dedicated to showcasing the works of horror filmmakers from around the world.

Follow The Great Canadian Horror Film Festival at:


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