#Review

DecayMag Podcast Features the Lunch Ladies Just To "Shut Them The F Up"

Clarissa Jacobson

Nov 21, 2017
1 min

DecayMag Podcast Features the Lunch Ladies Just To "Shut Them The F Up"

DecayMag's Stacy Cox, did a sweet little article about the Lunch Ladies and you think they would've been satisfied, but no, those attention whores always want more, more, MORE. So when the Lunch Ladies heard that DecayMag also does a kickass podcast, the girls got busy. Head intern, Melinda Sweeney McTodd, recalls: "The Lunch Ladies called us night and day, leaving messages, sending lame ass memes to our social media and filling our inboxes with spam. The shit really hit th

Teen Movie Critic "Nedflix N Chill" Relieved Lunch Ladies Doesn't Suck

Clarissa Jacobson

Nov 21, 2017
2 min

Teen Movie Critic "Nedflix N Chill" Relieved Lunch Ladies Doesn't Suck

The Lunch Ladies are flying high on getting a great review from a teenager. Everyone knows teenagers hate everything. Of course critic Ned Daniels is a Senior on the brink of leaving the hell that is high school behind, but hey, he's still young enough to be a pain in the ass. Mr. Daniels, who spends his Wednesdays with a buddy watching films after school then dissecting them and giving super smart critiques remembers his trepidation about even reviewing Lunch Ladies: "Shor

Homicidal Homemaker Bonds With The Lunch Ladies

Clarissa Jacobson

Nov 17, 2017
1 min

Homicidal Homemaker Bonds With The Lunch Ladies

Yesssss! The Lunch Ladies finally met a chick after their own black hearts - Kaci Hansen otherwise known as The Homicidal Homemaker - a babe of exquisite and creative taste who has her own spooktacular cooking show and a featured column with her unique recipes in Rue Morgue Magazine. This goth gal REALLY knows food and appreciates the hell the Lunch Ladies have gone through in their "cooking" which is why she gave the film two thumbs up: "A unique concoction of horror and w

Sandlot Director/Writer David Mickey Evans Says "Dude, This Was F**cking Good."

Clarissa Jacobson

Nov 16, 2017
1 min

Sandlot Director/Writer David Mickey Evans Says "Dude, This Was F**cking Good."

The Lunch Ladies are flying high on director/writer, David Mickey Evans review of the film where he not only said "Dude this was f*king good" but that he "laughed out loud like ten times!" Evans is known for his terrific coming of age film The Sandlot - which is a favorite of the ladies and comes in only second to Texas Chainsaw Massacre on their "best of" list. Seretta said: "We have Sandlot on VHS along with Texas Chainsaw and watch it at least once a month. So, for Mr.

Lunch Ladies Smug After DecayMag Points Out Social Impact Of This Highly Important Piece of Cinema

Clarissa Jacobson

Nov 13, 2017
1 min

Lunch Ladies Smug After DecayMag Points Out Social Impact Of This Highly Important Piece of Cinema

FINALLY! Finally the Lunch Ladies can rest knowing they've been acknowledged for the social impact they've gifted the world. This week DecayMag shined a spotlight on the bullying that occurred at Melvin High (photo above) which led to the Lunch Ladies' unfortunate Cheerleader... mishap. Reviewer Stacy Cox, aka Professor Emeritus Cinema of DecayMag, said Lunch Ladies was "fresh and innovative" the story was "groundbreaking" and called it a "social commentary on bullying." RE

BREAKING NEWS! Reviewer For Film Classics Virgin Propositions The Lunch Ladies

Clarissa Jacobson

Nov 10, 2017
2 min

BREAKING NEWS! Reviewer For Film Classics Virgin Propositions The Lunch Ladies

It's no secret that the Lunch Ladies are extremely sexy ladies. In fact, ever since they began washing their pits with Twisted Wonderland Perfumery's "Lunch is Served" Pie Soap" they can't keep the men at bay. This week, however, things were taken up a notch. Derek Smith, reviewer for Film Classics Virgin saw the film and loved it so much that he showed up at the Lunch Ladies doorstep with flowers; plying them with sweet nothings: "Lunch Ladies is a fun 19 minutes that lef

The Night Owl Chronicles Compete With Lunch Ladies For Johnny Depp!

Clarissa Jacobson

Nov 9, 2017
1 min

The Night Owl Chronicles Compete With Lunch Ladies For Johnny Depp!

It's no secret there's been a bit of competition between the Lunch Ladies and the Garcia Sisters, writers of the spine tingling edge of your seat books - The Night Owl Chronicles. Sure, The Garcia Sisters love the Lunch Ladies and gave them a great review, however, the Lunch Ladies don't trust those two as far as they could throw them. The problem stems from the fact that the sisters are just so damn pretty. And now they're working on a second book - CINEMA 2 which Johnny L

The Lunch Ladies Cozy Up To The Film Coterie Proving Ass Kissing Really Does Work

Clarissa Jacobson

Nov 8, 2017
1 min

The Lunch Ladies Cozy Up To The Film Coterie Proving Ass Kissing Really Does Work

The Lunch Ladies will do anything to get a little publicity. When they found out The Film Coterie, would be doing a recap on Nightmares Film Fest, Seretta fluttered her eyelashes, thrust out her double D's, and told them they were brilliant. LouAnne slicked back her ducktail and told them they were handsome. That's all it took. SUCKERS! The Film Coterie said: "Lunch Ladies from Clarissa Jacobson and Josh Logan took home Nightmares Best Horror Comedy Short award and it had so

Beats, Boxing & Mayhem - Lunch Ladies Google Themselves At Least An Hour A Day

Clarissa Jacobson

Nov 7, 2017
1 min

Beats, Boxing & Mayhem - Lunch Ladies Google Themselves At Least An Hour A Day

What happens when you finally get some appreciation after spending the majority of your life being an overworked, underpaid high school Lunch Lady who loves Johnny Depp? Discounting murder, you become attention whores. Dark Web Sources have confirmed that the Lunch Ladies spend at least an hour a day mining the internet on their jacked up Commodore 64 for any scrap of news about them. Once found, they go on to annoy the hell out of people by posting it on Social Media and b

"I Hitchhiked 210 Miles Out of My Way to See The Lunch Ladies"

Clarissa Jacobson

Oct 27, 2017
2 min

"I Hitchhiked 210 Miles Out of My Way to See The Lunch Ladies"

J or Jeffrey Michael Wetherington Jr. - for those in the know like the Lunch Ladies - has been hiking across this great nation all the way from Florida to the West Coast for the past month. This is vaguely reminiscent of our Assistant Director - Nick C. Johnson who as soon as he finished up Lunch Ladies, was so disturbed he sold all his shit and took off on the Pacific Crest Trail - 2,650 miles from Mexico to Canada. It appears Lunch Ladies just makes you wanna get the hell

Psychic Celluloid YouTube Review: "The Lunch Ladies Did A Fantastic Job! They Were So Gross!"

Clarissa Jacobson

Oct 26, 2017
2 min

Psychic Celluloid YouTube Review: "The Lunch Ladies Did A Fantastic Job! They Were So Gross!"

The Lunch Ladies just got their very first YouTube Review from three discerning dudes known as PSYCHIC CELLULOID SIGNALS. It was fantastic! The guys really loved it. In fact, they even went so far as to shout it out to the man himself: "Johnny Depp, we highly recommend you check this film out." But... the Lunch Ladies are not happy. NOT HAPPY AT ALL. So what if Psychic Celluloid said it was "Very fresh, with nods to Tim Burton's work without ripping it off?" So what if

Lake Wobegon Lunch Ladies, Purple Rain, Minnesota Nice and Hastings Star Gazette

Clarissa Jacobson

Oct 25, 2017
1 min

Lake Wobegon Lunch Ladies, Purple Rain, Minnesota Nice and Hastings Star Gazette

Writer/Producer Clarissa Jacobson, even though she now loves the warmth and smog of Los Angeles, is proud to hail from the Land of Sky Blue Waters, Lake Wobegon, The Replacements, Purple Rain and The Power of the Negative. Even though she got the hell out of the cold, it's obvious her brain never thawed completely which is why Lunch Ladies is so demented. But that's okay, because Minnesota loves demented! Maureen McMullen, Reporter for Clarissa's hometown paper - The Hasting

The Surgeons Of Horror Gleefully Dissect The Lunch Ladies!

Clarissa Jacobson

Oct 20, 2017
1 min

The Surgeons Of Horror Gleefully Dissect The Lunch Ladies!

Lights, Blood, ACTION! Paul Farrell of Surgeons of Horror, the smart and insightful British podcast and reviewer of horror films old and new, decided to slap the Lunch Ladies on the operating table and see what was inside. Getting to the guts of the film he said: “Gloriously written by Clarissa Jacobson, who carves up a a delicious blend of macabre and humour, combined with director J.M. Logan’s eye for detail and Lunch Ladies stands tall amongst its counterparts as a result.

We Are Moving Stories Pulls Off The Impossible! A Moving Interview About the Lunch Ladies!

Clarissa Jacobson

Oct 16, 2017
1 min

We Are Moving Stories Pulls Off The Impossible! A Moving Interview About the Lunch Ladies!

Who knew it was even possible! BUT YES! We Are Moving Stories was able to pull off a moving interview with ME about the Lunch Ladies. Founder, Carmela Baranowska, the mastermind behind the site which promotes short films and loves to emphasize women's voices (even the Lunch Ladies twisted voices) started the site to "celebrate filmmakers, films, issues and concerns that would otherwise be forgotten." The website, started in April, 2016 now has over 1,200 films and 900,000

1428 Elm Street Pisses Off Cheerleader: "Lunch Ladies: Hilarious Short Needs To Be A Feature"

Clarissa Jacobson

Oct 13, 2017
1 min

1428 Elm Street Pisses Off Cheerleader: "Lunch Ladies: Hilarious Short Needs To Be A Feature"

What an awesome Friday the 13th!!! Jeremy Dick of FanSided Network's 1428 Elm Street is giving Alexis the Cheerleader a run for her popularity by featuring the Lunch Ladies in his latest review: "On its own, this short film has a beginning, middle, and end, and will leave you satisfied (if you’re as twisted in the head as I am, at least). But given how beautiful the film looks (even the disgusting school cafeteria food looked incredible) and how entertaining its leads are, I

Dread Central Says: "Fans of Black Comedy Rejoice! Lunch Ladies is a Viciously Amusing Short"

Clarissa Jacobson

Oct 6, 2017
1 min

Dread Central Says: "Fans of Black Comedy Rejoice! Lunch Ladies is a Viciously Amusing Short"

The Lunch Ladies are basking in the big time with a freaking awesome review and a news story from Dread Central's Travis Mullins who called it a "viciously amusing short" as well as a "5-Star little film that deserves a look" - "Fans of Black Comedy Rejoice!" Since Dread Central loved them so much, the Lunch Ladies are convinced that their dream of being Johnny Depp's personal chefs is only a blink away. After all, how can Johnny NOT be a fan of Dread Central? How can Joh

Lunch Ladies Review from Hot Sisters Who Wrote The Night Owl Chronicles: "Lunch Ladies Rocked!

Clarissa Jacobson

Oct 4, 2017
2 min

Lunch Ladies Review from Hot Sisters Who Wrote The Night Owl Chronicles: "Lunch Ladies Rocked!

The Garcia Sisters, Aussie Authors of The Night Owl Chronicles - creepy, kickass books that'll keep you awake at night - took a break from scaring the hell out of readers to talk about Lunch Ladies: "Lunch Ladies rocked! Seretta and LouAnne made us snicker because they reminded us of ourselves (minus the murderous side!) – they’re two sisters who work together and have a dream!" "Entertaining from start to finish, Lunch Ladies is a dark, funny, horror film that is unique fro

Pop Horror Editor: "Lunch Ladies Is Hands Down One Of The Best Horror Comedies I've Seen This Year"

Clarissa Jacobson

Sep 29, 2017
1 min

Pop Horror Editor: "Lunch Ladies Is Hands Down One Of The Best Horror Comedies I've Seen This Year"

The Lunch Ladies have been so abused by Principal Grossfetig and those delinquents at Melvin High that they're having a hard time believing all the love they're receiving. This includes this glowing review by Tori Danielle, Editor-In-Chief of Pop Horror which was recently named one of the 10 Hot Horror Bloggers to follow in 2017: "With a runtime just over 18 minutes, Lunch Ladies is hands down one of the best horror comedies I’ve seen this year. It was disturbingly wonderful

Zombie Girl Takes A Break From Gnawing A Femur To Growl "Lunch Ladies is My New Fave Dark Comedy"

Clarissa Jacobson

Sep 21, 2017
1 min

Zombie Girl Takes A Break From Gnawing A Femur To Growl "Lunch Ladies is My New Fave Dark Comedy"

Journalist, Los Angeles Zombie Girl set aside a bloody femur and forwent her usual dessert of Flesh McNuggets to scribble up a delicious editorial piece on Lunch Ladies: "This hilarious fast-paced ride into the dark side, is so full of driving music, surreal scenes and quirky characters that you can’t help but fall in love with the film! I haven’t had this much fun watching anything in a long time. (Remember the TV show "Pushing Daisies?" Lunch Ladies reminds me so much of t

Review by Glenn Strange: Lunch Ladies: Horror Served Fresh!

Clarissa Jacobson

Sep 14, 2017
2 min

Review by Glenn Strange: Lunch Ladies: Horror Served Fresh!

Being a lunch lady ain't easy. As a lunch lady you have to deal with everything from bratty high schoolers, to overpaid, power tripping principals. Thankfully, THESE lunch ladies have a ticket out... hopefully. You see, the problem is Melvin High's dictator principal (Chris Fickley) is threatening to kick these lunch ladies to the curb if they don't come up with something good for Surprise Friday AND they've got a freshly dead teenager (Daisy Kershaw) on their hands! What

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